Crossed Wires

Posted on Fri Mar 7th, 2025 @ 12:30am by Lieutenant Irynya & Lieutenant Ezhr Delja & Lieutenant Axod Qo & Ensign Mei Ratthi & Ensign Grosh Frav

Mission: Mean Green Queen
Location: Deck 3, Conference Room 4
Timeline: Mission Day 25 at 0830

[MD 3, 0830]
[Deck 3, Conference Room 4]
[LCARS Training Session]

Irynya stood outside of Conference Room 4 and narrowed her eyes. She was, she supposed, in the right spot. At least this is what her PADD told her was the right spot. But she could barely be called early and any sign of the officer who had been tasked with rounding out the security and training for the LCARS update that had been installed a few weeks back for personnel who were, for all rights and purposes, not command, engineers, or security, or operations. At this point it was really more of a compliance issue than an actual need for training. They'd all been using the updates for a while now and there had been no significant changes to core protocols.

Or at least none that have anything to do with flight control. Irynya thought to herself before sighing and tapping in her fancy new department head override to open the door to Conference Room 4.

Unsurprisingly, but annoyingly, it was empty.

A few moments later, the door opened again and Delja entered. Ordinarily, he made a point of arriving ahead of time, even for something as routine as a training review. However, the quick stop at his office had taken a little longer than he'd thought it would. One thing had led to another, and before he knew it, he'd had to dash off to the conference room. Yet, as he stood upon the threshold, he was surprised to find only one other individual present. Irynya, he thought to himself, recalling her name. Judging by the look on her face, she did not seem all that thrilled about it, either.

"Morning," he said, taking a step forward and allowing the doors to close behind him.

Iry met the new diplomat's eyes and nodded her greeting before adding, "Morning." She was not a morning person and would have liked another cup of coffee. In fact... she wasn't quite sure why she hadn't gone to the replicator first. She was about to rise when the familiar swish of hydraulics repeated itself.

The doors opened again almost immediately, revealing- no one, at first until Mei peered around Delja. She looked around and up, a bit wide-eyed at the unfamiliar face that looked back at her. “Hello,” she said as cheerfully as possible. It wasn’t very cheerful; between that and the steaming coffee mug she held, one might suppose she hadn’t fully woken up yet. Her gaze slid away from Delja to where Irynya sat, and she slipped past him to sit next to her. “Hey. Ready to learn all about using touchscreens? I’m sure it’s going to be a thrilling time.”

Iry snorted her amusement, giving her friend an amused smirk. "How will we ever overcome the excitement?" she whispered conspiratorially. "I'm downright agog."

"Thrilled to be here." Axod said, following Mei into the Conference Room. He casually ran his hand through his thick red hair. He smiled when he saw that Ezhr was here as well. Without hesitation, Ax moved to the room's replicator. "Anyone?" He turned and looked at his companions. "Well, those of us who didn't come prepared." He winked playfully at Mei before looking to Iry and Ezhr.

"Oh stars yes please," Iry responded, jumping on the offer for caffeine. "My first cup is failing me utterly. Cream and sugar please." She settled back into her chair waiting for Qo and Delja to follow and wondering who else might be included in the training.

For that matter... where was the instructor? Maybe they were running late. It felt like an odd thing, but it wasn't impossible. She resolved to wait a bit longer before she started making a fuss, but couldn't help the itchy desire to look the man or woman up in hopes of guessing what might be keeping them. Determined not to do so yet, she sat on her hands.

"Just tea, thank you," Delja said. Unlike Irynya and Ratthi, he was not so quick to take a seat. He knew they were likely to spend the next few hours (at least) sitting and staring at screens. The longer he could remain standing (and stretch his legs), the better it would be for him.

Axod input the various orders and waited as the materialized, following the familiar hum of the replicator. Multiple mugs in hand, Ax turned back to the room . He handed a cup of coffee to Iry. "Hope this helps." He offered a friendly wink and then continued on to where Ezhr was. He handed the mug of tea to Delja. "I got you a Risian blend, hope you still like that." He said with a slight smirk, bringing his own mug to his lips.

“Do Risian blends have more caffeine?” Mei said, casting a glance and a smile at Iry. “If that’s the case, it might be better than what I’ve got. I’m going to need all the help I can get to stay awake here. I can’t imagine that the displays and menus have changed so much that we actually need a class on how to use the new setup. Pretty sure we can just, you know, figure it out? But hey, the Federation loves its red tape.” She rolled her eyes, her curls bobbing as she tilted her head. “Where’s the instructor, anyway? Seems like they’d be here by now. Unless we’re all just really early?”

"They do on Risa, but the replicator can't get that part right. Just the flavours." Axod said, seating himself on the table top next to where Delja was. He swung his legs back and forth playfully. He took another sip of his own drink before responding to Ratthi's other question. "Well, my summons said 0830. I assumed that meant we'd be starting at 0830." He gave a haphazard shrug.

"One would think," Delja agreed, placing the cup Axod had given him on the table. He'd never minded the replicator couldn't duplicate the caffeine. It was the taste, more than anything, that had always appealed to him. Even just the aroma could be a welcome sign on a morning like this. Though, he had to admit, he didn't much mind the company, either. "I suppose it's possible they were delayed..."

Irynya had opened her mouth to comment both on their start time and on the caffeine content of Risian tea when the counselor's commbadge chirped and the tinny voice of the XO sounded through it.

t'Nai to Qo the disembodied voice filtered through the room as everyone quieted. Counselor, I'm sorry to disrupt your training, but it seems Crewman Bossert has been hit with... The XO trailed off as if realizing she might be overheard. If you could meet me at your office I would greatly appreciate it.

Ax shrugged. "I suppose duty calls." He said, standing once again. He quickly took a gulp of his drink and returned the cup to the replicator as he passed it. "You'll have to tell me all about this riveting seminar another time. " He looked back to his companions as the doors hissed open and he started to leave the room.

Moving at a quicker than normal pace, Ensign Grosh Frav nearly collided with the Counselor as they met in the doorway. "Ah! Watch out!" He grumbled in a typical Tellarite fashion. "I'm late!" He slid his way past Axod and into the room.

The Counselor continued his departure, offering a sly wink to Ezhr before the doors closed behind him.

"Where's he running off to?" Grosh asked, plopping down on an available seat. "And is it just me or did he wink at me?"

The Tellarite's assumption that Qo's wink had been aimed at him rather than the new first contact specialist drew a snort of amusement from Irynya that she worked hard to quickly tamp down by bringing her drink to her lips. Though it was clear that Qo was winking at Delja, this also struck the Risian as interesting. She scrubbed a hand through her hair as if to slick back the already slicked back ponytail. She was sure she'd seen him act with that kind of familiarity before, but she for the life of her she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"I don't know if it counts as late when the instructor isn't even here yet," she offered, a conciliatory tone lacing her words as she addressed Frav. "Who is supposed to be here anyway?"

She frowned and then spoke to the air. "Computer, who is leading the training in this conference room?"

In it's neutral feminine voice the ship's computer responded. "There is no training scheduled for Conference Room 4 on Deck 3 at this time."

The Risian's frown deepened and she glanced around the table. "That can't be right. It was literally on my schedule still when I left my room."

Mei frowned at her PADD as she pulled up her own calendar to check. “Yeah, I have this listed on my schedule, too. It’s right there.” She idly gestured at the display, as though someone might be tempted to come around and check for themselves. “Did the updates break the system or something? Like who’s wrong here? The computer or us?”

Irynya did, indeed, glance at Mei's calendar as if to confirm that she wasn't losing her mind. "Computer, when was the training cancelled?" She hoped it was the right question, because this seemed unusually odd.

"Historical records indicate that no training has been cancelled for this room at this time," the computer intoned.

"Interesting," Delja mused. He couldn't help finding it...ironic. They were all here to learn about a new software upgrade (well, all of them except Axod), and now it seemed the software couldn't agree whether there was ever a training session to begin with. He almost laughed out loud thinking about it. But, he realized, there was no guarantee his fellow trainees found their situation that funny (particularly those who had things they'd rather have been doing). So, instead, he took a sip from his tea. "Seems we have a mystery on our hands..."

“Okay, so the computer’s claiming we don’t have a meeting, but what if the instructor didn’t get the memo- like we didn’t- and is just running late because of . . . I dunno. Some sort of freak programming accident. Like they sprained their fingers and locked themself into their office and can’t get out. Because of progamming. Or something.” Mei looked around at the others and shrugged. “I’m grasping at straws here.”

Grosh grumbled and squirmed in his seat. He was already antsy, despite being the last to arrive. Tellarites despised being kept waiting. He grumbled to himself a bit more and then looked to Iry and Ezhr, he clocked their pips. “Well Lieutenant’s what’s the game plan?” His voice was very annoyed, despite the fact it had only been moments since he arrived.

The Risian turned, looking to the newly arrived first contact specialist and raising her eyebrows. She suspected, though she hadn't read his file, that he had been a lieutenant longer than she had. It wouldn't have taken much for that to be true. But she also didn't love pulling the rank card, particularly when it came to deciding who was going to do what.

"Computer," she asked, shrugging to those around her as she spoke, "Review schedule for Chief Flight Controller, Lieutenant Irynya. Advise where the Lieutenant should be at this time?"

There was the telltale chime that indicated the computer had heard and then, "Lieutenant Irynya is scheduled for LCARS update training on Deck 3 in Conference Room 4 at this time."

The Risian's brow furrowed. "Advise who scheduled the Lieutenant for this training?"

Another chime with a prompt and chipper, "Lieutenant Irynya was scheduled for LCARS training by Lieutenant Junior Grade Fulsom and authorized by the Acting Chief Engineer."

Irynya looked around the room at each of those present. "That sounds fairly official. Does anyone else want to check? Otherwise I'm calling Fulsom for an explanation."

"Very well," Delja said, returning his cup to its saucer and holding both at about waist height. All evidence pointed to the likelihood that he was going to get the same sort of response from the computer that Irynya had, but unless he actually tried, it would only ever be a hypothesis. "Computer," he continued, "Confirm schedule for Lieutenant Ezhr Delja, First Contact Specialist."

Oblivious to any of their hesitation, the family voice was quick to reply. "Lieutenant Delja is scheduled for LCARS update training on Deck 3 in Conference Room 4 at this time."

"...and who authorized this training?"

"Lieutenant Delja was scheduled for LCARS training by Lieutenant Junior Grade Fulsom," the computer answered, "authorized by the Acting Chief Engineer."

Irynya frowned and then shrugged. With a quick tap she opened up a comms channel. "Lieutenant Irynya to Lieutenant Junior Grade Fulsom," she said briskly pausing to give the engineer a chance to answer.

She was not long in waiting as a few seconds later the chirp that indicated that Fulsom had received her message and was about to reply sounded. Instead of the standard response, however, all that was heard was a childish, high pitched voice which, quite simply, responded with, "Nope!"

“Nope?” Mei said under her breath, just loud enough that Irynya could hear it. She glanced around at her fellow classmates, eyebrows raised like she was asking them, ‘Did you hear that, too?’ They waited, but there was no other response. “Was that Lieutenant Fulsom, or are we getting sassed by the computer? If it’s the second option, that’s weird. Like really weird.”

Irynya met Mei's eyes, her own eyebrows raising in surprise and uncertainty. "I'm... not sure..." she answered and tapped her badge again, reopening the channel and starting over. "Lieutenant Irynya to Lieutenant Junior Grade Fulsom," she said to the air in front of her with less brisk confidence than the first time. The line chirped and connected, but was quiet. "Fulsom, please respond." Irynya repeated before the high pitched voice returned with a giggle and gleeful "Nope! Nope! Nope!" that made her wince and quickly tap her badge to close the channel she'd opened.

It was, as Ratthi had observed, 'weird'. The voice they'd just heard sounded, to Delja, as if it were a small child (right down to the giggling and the repeated negative). And yet, he knew that wasn't possible. It could not have been a child (at least, not a flesh-and-blood child), because there were none aboard the ship. "If it is the computer, then it seems to be rather selective," Delja said, "because t'Nai was able to call in , and we were able to request information from the computer itself without any of us getting a response like this."

Ensign Frav grumbled dramatically loud and stood from his seat. "Why are we still here?" He demanded. "Seems to me, we should all leave and take the opportunity to catch a few more hours of sleep before our regular duty shifts." He looked around for support from his shipmates.

"...and miss out on the chance to solve a mystery," Delja replied, a twinkle in his eye, "hardly."

A hypothesis was coming together, but there were still a few pieces missing. Delja needed more data. The only way to get that, however, was by running another test. Holding his tea steady with one hand, he reached up with the other and tapped his commbadge. He waited for the chirp that signaled the opening of the channel, and then he spoke. "Delja to Commander t'Nai..."

As was the case when Irynya had attempted to reach Fulsom, the responding chirp that indicated the comm line was open confirmed the connection to the ship's XO. It seemed almost as if everyone held their breath for the tense moment between confirmation and speech when the conference room once again filled wiht a childish giggle and a vociferously insistent, "Nu-uh" and then something that could only be described as a snigger before the entity on the other end of the comm added, "Play!"

And then the line, once again, went dead.

Mei looked thoughtful, her head tilting as she contemplated something. “Hello, Friend,” she said suddenly, loudly and clearly enough for the computer to hear her. “What do you want to play?”

The others looked at her, confused, but she shrugged. “We seem to be dealing with some sort of intelligence. If we want to figure out what’s going on, it’d be a good idea to learn about what we’re dealing with,” she said more softly. “More information is never a bad thing, especially if our new friend can keep us from leaving this room.”

"Yes play!" It called gleefully, its enthusiasm at Mei's question apparent. With that the disembodied voice changed to the serious tone of a child giving an instruction. "Copy follow game." Another pause and then, "Start. Touch nose."

Mei looked at her compatriots in confusion again, her gaze meeting Iry’s the longest. She scrunched her nose and flashed a grin before saying softly, “I’m trusting you to have my back if this gets weird.” Then she looked upward and touched her index finger to the tip of her nose. “Alright, I’m touching my nose. What’s next?”

"No, no, no," the voice responded sulkily. "Play," It demanded. "All play!" This last was said more forcefully as if the voice were annoyed, but adamant.

Irynya met Mei's eyes with a shrug and struggled to hold back a wildly inappropriate giggle at the sight of her friend, finger on the tip of her nose, as they addressed... who even knew what they were addressing. Slowly she raised on tanned finger and placed it on the tip of her own nose and then looked to the others in the room, exhorting them with pointed looks to do the same.

"You can't be serious?!" Grosh grumbled. He couldn't believe his crewmates were so willing to entertain this nonsense. He leaned on the edge of one of one of the room's tables. He relaxed himself despite his feelings about the situation.

"I believe they are," Delja replied, raising a finger to his own nose.

Grosh snorted a distinct porcine snort. "Not bloody likely." He folded his large, muscular arms across his chest.

There was an audible whine through comms as if a the disembodied child voice was displeased. If a pout could be heard this was it and, as if to add drama to the moment, the lights in the room flickered ominously. "All. Play," the voice pouted at them with the kind of sullen stubbornness that signaled a potential escalation from playfulness to irritation.

Irynya's finger dropped, about to tap her badge in a fresh attempt to try to reach someone else, when the lights flickered again, this time more violently stopping only when her finger was placed hastily back on the tip of her nose.

"Do it Ensign," she murmured at Grosh, pitching her voice so he could just hear her. "That's an order."

The Tellarite man let out a low, disgruntled grumble, his small tusks twitching with irritation. With exaggerated reluctance, he raised a hand to his snout and gave a quick, almost imperceptible swipe.

"There," he muttered, his tone dripping with defiance. "Happy?!"

He cast a wary glance around, as if addressing some unseen force that, for reasons beyond his comprehension, seemed intent on micromanaging the actions of highly trained Starfleet officers. His ears flicked slightly, betraying his continued annoyance, but he complied—if only to put an end to the absurdity.

“I’m happy,” Mei said impishly, grinning widely without taking her finger off her nose. She looked up to address the computer. “Okay, we’ve all touched our noses. Now what?”

Irynya gave the Tellarite a cool look, but then turned away, halting the admonishment that she was tempted to share. For a long moment there was silence. So long in fact that Irynya had just opened her mouth to ask if the... thing... was still there when the lights flickered, dimming and then coming up to full brightness before doing the same several times over.

"Not. Happy." The disembodied voice whimpered in a tone that evoked a lower lip poking out and quivering. "You're no fun."

And then, just as quickly, the light flickering stopped and there was once again silence.

"Friend?" Irynya asked after several long moments of held breath and silence.

No answer came.

She looked from person to person and frowned before reaching up and tapping her comm badge. As before the channel opened. "Lieutenant Irynya to Lieutenant Junior Grade Fulsom," she said, almost tentatively as if worried the commlink might somehow explode into a bout of angst.

Instead a male voice filtered across the comm.

"Fulsom here. What can I do for you Lieutenant?"

=/\= Hijinks by=/\=

Lieutenant Irynya
Chief Flight Controller

Lieutenant Ezhr Delja
First Contact Specialist

Lieutenant Axod Qo
Ship's Counselor

Ensign Mei Ratthi
Anthropologist / Archaeologist

Ensign Grosh Frav
Engineer