Saying goodbye is hard

Posted on Tue Mar 24th, 2026 @ 10:07pm by Lieutenant Commander Victoria Cross & Lieutenant Cassian Maritz

Mission: Port of Call
Location: Maritz and Cross' shared quarters
Timeline: Mission Day 1 at 0000

ON:

Cassian laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought about the events over the last few weeks. When he'd transferred to the Sojourner to be the new Chief of Security, there'd been a lot of apprehension and expectations put upon him. Hell, after everything that went down on Subrek's ship he realised he was definitely NOT ready for that responsibility and still had a lot more to learn before trying to take up that mantle again.

He'd suffered more eye damage from the emitter that Ikade had let off after Cassian had punched him than he was willing to let on, seeing spots more often than not now, and it was pure coincidence that he'd received confirmation that an ocular surgeon had looked into his file and history and was willing to perform the surgery as soon as possible back home in California. A request had been put in to transfer back to Starfleet HQ as a Security Specialist and had been approved. Cassian would be leaving as soon as they reached the Pathfinder station.

Given Blue a long scratch underneath her chin and behind the ears, Cassian say on the edge of his bed and flexed his hands a few times before he stood up and walked out into the common area he shared with Vic. Of all people, he was going to miss her with her unmistakable Australian twang and infectious kind of attitude toward everything.

"Hey Vic. You got a minute?" he called out, hoping she was in her quarters. They hadn't really said much to each other since they'd gotten back so it was as good a time than ever to have a final catch up.

Victoria emerged from her quarters, leaving behind a table strewn with model kit parts and paint kits. She had been burying herself in her hobbies and things that distracted her from overanalyzing and overthinking the Kodra-Lisett. As a result, she's been a little elusive. Group therapy, therapy sessions in the holodeck.

Big feelings. Trying to emulate an impossible ideal, trying to make everyone before her proud, and it all died with the Kazon vessel. Only now she had to figure out how to work as an officer that defined herself. That being said, it would be a hard search to find the stress and sorrow on the outside. Victoria cracked a wide smile.

"G'day, Cass, I've got plenty of time for you, mate. What's up?"

Cassian gave her a smile, a slightly disheartened one but a smile nonetheless. Vic would probably be the person he was going to miss the most. "I just wanted to see how you're doing after everything that's happened." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "We haven't had a chance to catch up since it all." He'd already decided to wait until later on in the conversation to bring it up that he was leaving. "Reckon these replicators will give us a couple of beers?"

"We unfortunately haven't talked nearly as much as I'd like. Come on." She motioned for the man to follow, then stepped up to her replicator. Thumbing the order menu, she thought for a moment. "Six pack of canned beer. Doohan's, cold."

A shimmer. Six cans of beer manifest in the matrix, and Victoria would pull them away, freeing two from the special polymer can holder that faded away once the two cans were removed. Victoria held her can under her chin for a moment, then handed Cassian his.

She sat down, setting the cans down on her coffee table.

She'd pop the tab of her can and sit in a chair. "So.. the mission, Chief. Those fiends, if I never see another Kazon battleship, it'll be too soon."

Cassian opened his beer and listened to the sssschk sound it made before having a sip of it and slouching down into a chair as well. "Thank the stars we're free of it now. I swear I can still feel the filth and general grossness of the ship no matter how much I shower."

He raised his drink in salute and took another sip. "I punched that Trabe square in the jaw without even thinking about it and I regret it big time." His eyes unfocused for a moment and a faraway look came over his face. "It stopped Balsam from doing something stupid though, so that's something, right?"

"Hey. I threatened to kill a guy. And..," She took a drink of her beer. It tasted like a crewman's drink. Comforting, heady, and smooth. "My crew was on the line, my people. It's a moral failure to resort to violence unless it's the last possible recourse. That's what I've been taught, that's what I know to be true. But staring at that Kazon, seeing what they did to Andrew.."

She leaned back in her chair. "Sometimes when all you have is a hammer, Cassian, the whole world becomes a nail. I had my charm and a disruptor, and they weren't really game for charm. But you know what, Cassian?"

She leaned forward, holding the beer around the ring with two fingers. "It worked. I told him exactly what was going to happen, and all I wanted was my shipmate. I looked him in the eye and said if he do much as twitched, he'd die. Granted, I do know the Vulcan nerve pinch."

She smirked. "Run me down what happened with the Trabe and Balsam?"

"Remind me not to get on your bad side then, Vic!" Cassian laughed and sat up a bit straighter. "The Trabe was ranting on about something, and Balsam kind of snapped," He frowned a bit at the memory of it, "I mean, I don't blame the guy for snapping: he was tired, sore and really wanted off the ship by any means possible. So yeah, I don't blame him for any of it, if I'm being honest."

The door opened and Blue came through it with a meow before jumping onto her owner's lap and purring contentedly. Cassian scratched behind her ears again and continued to talk. "I just didn't want to see him hurt any more than he already was, so I stepped in." He took another long drink of the beer and let it lightly rest on the cat.

"What you did was BRAVE, Cassian. You stepped up and stood in the way of Noah and further danger. It takes a lot of gumption and snap decision making to do that kind of thing. I'll be honest, I was in a ranting mood over there in that garbage scow. Those cowards had me thinking the ship was destroyed, and we're Sojourners. We're Starfleet. We're not the sort of people to get our spirits broken easily."

Cassian shook his head slightly, "Some are more prone to it than others though. We all process things in a different way. I get what you're saying though, I didn't know if we were going to make it back to the ship and my first thought went to this one." He motioned to Blue and patted her head. "I mean, what would've happened if you and I didn't come back? Unless the computer suddenly knows how to speak cat, then who would've fed her?" It seemed silly to be worrying about an animal more than people, but it was what it was.

"I'm sure one of the crew would have adopted her. I'm really thankful that she's not hurt. Bluey is a proper cat, she would have taken three Kazon to the grave had she been aware of the ambush and she felt like doing anything to save us."

She took a slow drink of her beer.

"You reckon?" Cassian replied with a raised brow and a laugh before sipping his beer again, "She freaks out at the cleaning bots and hides whenever she sees them, but I could see her fluffing up and taking on someone if necessary, aye girl." The cat kept purring and closed her eyes in response.

"I, uh, do have something I need to bring up with you though, if you don't mind," Cassian said with uncertainty. Not uncertainty on how to phrase it, it was uncertainty on how Vic would react. He flicked open another beer after finishing the original one.

"I'm all ears?" Victoria crossed her leg over her knee, stretching out an arm to rest her wrist on her knee joint. She raised a brow. "Is this about the Kodra-Lisett or .."

"Actually, it's got nothing to do with the Kodra-Lisett," he admitted with a shake of his head. "I'm transferring back to Starfleet HQ once we get to Pathfinder Station." He waited with baited breath for the inevitable reaction.

"What?"

She dropped her beer. "Damn-" She bent over, grabbing the can from the floor. "You're what? Why?" She threw the can into a bin nearby and crossed her arms. "Oh, mate, you're kidding me. This ship - It needs you around, mate. A security chief like you is hard to come by." She leaned back and buried her face in her hands.

Might as well not deflect her feelings.

She leaned forward. "I hate goodbyes, Cass. I'm so sorry we didn't talk as much as we should have."

He shot her an appreciative smile and leaned forward as well. It just made it harder for him to leave. "Look, Vic, the main reason I'm going back to HQ is because I've finally been approved to see an ocular surgeon through Starfleet and get the surgery I need for it. That's all. It's got nothing to do with you or the ship, I promise."

Holding out his hand, he invited her to take it, not in any other way but a friendly one. "Don't be sorry, we've had some amazing chats and laughs. Cheers for the compliment too. I appreciate it, but I know that Lieutenant Good is going to be an amazing replacement. I wasn't ready for this position as much as I thought I was with everything that happened on that ship, and it's a pure coincidence how everything else has lined up for me."

"You know we've still got subspace communications we can talk through, right?" He tried to keep his tone light as he flashed her a grin. "And it's not as if I'm going to be able to forget that twangy accent of yours either."

"Right, right. Well, I hope your surgery is a success, and I wish you all the luck, Cassa." She shook his hand with a smile. "Maybe you'll get a posting somewhere less hectic, like the Briar Patch or Cardassia." She laughed.

"Of course, buddy! I'll write you, promise. But you'll have to do the same, yeah? What have you heard about Leftenant Good? I haven't had the time to go through their dossier, but I assume you have. I've been honestly working myself to the bone and filling my time with therapy after Subrek."

Cassian scratched Blue between her ears and let his brow furrow for a moment, "Yeah, I figured you were, that's why I didn't see much of you and it was really quiet too. I knew something was up but didn't press the issue of it, figured you'd talk when the time was right." He shrugged and added, "Lieutenant Good lives up to her name, that's all I can say really. She's fairly new but is making an impact and the team loves her so I'm sure you will too."

"It's .. been hell, but I'll manage. Therapy has been helping." She slowly stood, making her way to a shelf in her room. "I'm sure she'll get along with us all grand. Cassian, I know you're going to have sunny days ahead. You're a good, honest man, and when you get your Admiral pips, hopefully our offices are in the same building," She snickered, opening the shelf and removing a box. "Here. I was going to work on this model next, but I want you to have it. It's a deck-by-deck construction kit of the Sojourner, at 1:900th scale. She'll always be something you can look out for, now."

He laughed at the Admiral comment, "Admiral is a long way off, I can assure you of that. I think I'll settle for Commander and become the Head of Security on a starbase somewhere instead."

Cassian took the box and turned it over in his hands to look at it, feeling a surge of emotion rising up in his chest. "This is amazing, Vic. Are you sure you want me to have it? Because it would look awesome next to the rest of your models."

Victoria shook her head, her eyes watering somewhat. Parting ways always sucked. Victoria steeled herself, and planted her hands on her hips. "No, brother. Don't forget about us, right? I know you'll be on the mend, sharing the fame and glory of this old tub. She won't forget you, my friend." She gave the man a Vulcan salute, though it was more casual than the usual manner, more a wave.

"I'm gonna miss you, Bluey! Don't let Cassian slack off on his cat dad work, huh?"

The cat tilted her head at the mention of her name before letting out a wide yawn and getting up to jump off Cassian. She wrapped herself around Victoria before coming to sit in front of her, tailed wrapped around her paws, and turned her green eyes on the woman. A slow blink from her was like she knew what was being said.

"The amounts of times I've caught her sitting at your door wanting to go in was insane," Cassian shook his head and laughed. "I'm sure she will miss you too and come running when she hears your voice, but Blue will keep me in line, I can guarantee that without a doubt." He watched her and smiled, his best friend was losing her friend.

"I had better start packing up my stuff though..." His voice had a definite sadness to it, but he tried to downplay it.

Victoria's attempt to downplay her own sadness wavered, and she began to weep. "Oh, shite." She stepped out into the lavatory, and took a paper towel to dry her eyes. She sniffed and regained her composure. "Okay. I'm fine. I'm ok." She took a deep breath. "Can I help you in packing your things?"

---- A post by ShadedGrace and Cass! ----