Much Ado About Timmoz
Posted on Fri Nov 15th, 2024 @ 5:29am by Lieutenant Axod Qo & Lieutenant Xex Wang
Mission:
Mean Green Queen
Location: CMO's Quarters
Timeline: Mission Day 0 at 1935
“I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me”
[Deck 2]
[CMO's Quarters]
[A day or two out from Hukatuse]
[1935]
There had been a shift in energy between Xex and Axod since they'd returned from Hukatuse Tugamik. It was difficult to address in the hustle that had befallen them in the meantime. Still, Axod yearned to settle the matter. As was typical of late, Ax sat in the common area of their shared space and read. His material lately consisted of Cardassian repetitive epics and compendiums of Romulan revlavs.
It was getting on in the evening, near enough the time when Xex was usually puttering about, readying himself for his shift in sickbay. Usually, that is, until they'd come back from Hukatuse Tugamik. Since they'd whisked Timmoz into the Sojourner's sickbay, the CMO had barely been glimpsed in his quarters, and then mainly just for a change of uniform.
This evening was no exception. As Xex stepped into the suite from the bustle of a corridor in the midst of shift change, he was already pulling his uniform jacket off, shrugging his shoulders out of the rumpled fabric, his expression distracted.
"Haven't seen you in bit." Ax said, clearly unseen to Xex as he entered the shared space. The Doosodarian looked up at the silver man who was now topless. It reminded Axod of their first meeting in this very room.
Xex slowed to a halt, halfway through pulling off his undershirt and blinked at Axod, as though perplexed the other man would be in the room, despite the fact that they were, in fact, also the Doosodarian's living quarters. The shirt came off over his head, giving him another half second to collect himself, and when his head emerged again, his expression was at least abashed. His words, however, were at odds with his expression, a flat statement of fact. "Timmoz is dying."
He didn't wait for Axod to reply to his blunt declaration, instead whirling and flinging the undershirt at the recycler. He missed, and the garment hit the wall next to the device, sliding into a rejected heap on the floor.
Sliding to the edge of the sofa, Axod watched as Xex went through the motions. He wasn't certain how to respond to what Xex had asserted. Within Ax's head his personal relationship with his roommate was at odds with his training as a counselor. The Doosodarian stood and moved across the room. "People die all the time Xex. You know that." The words spilled out of him, and he knew they sounded emotionless.
A complicated montage of emotions flickered across Xex's silvery features from which only a few were readily decipherable: a flash of molten fury, melting to blinking perplexity, shading slowly into a deeply-lined expression of weariness. He scrubbed a hand over his face, as though he could erase whatever was showing there. "And you know that it is fundamentally my job to do everything in my power to stop them doing so," he said, voice muffled behind his hand. Looking up, he mustered the ghost of a wry smile as he circled back around to Axod's original statement. "That's why you haven't seen me."
"You can't expect yourself to take that on solo. You aren't doing yourself or Timmoz any favours by overworking yourself." Ax had a look of true concern on his face. Everyone needed to rest, especially in times of high stress. "If you want, I can pick up a shift or two in sickbay so you can take some time to rest and collect yourself. You're running yourself ragged."
"I'm not," Xex asserted, and it sounded petulant even to himself. "I don't require the same rest cycles as some humanoids," he explained as he stepped out of his trousers, kicking them off to join the pile of clothing against the wall. "I'll catch up when Timmoz has a functioning pulmonary system. I just need to shower and change, so I don't look like a--" he paused, as though trying to recall the term, and his lips curved with amusement when he finally did, "--mad scientist."
Ax couldn't help but smile to himself at the comment, even though he was concerned. Ax closed the space between them. "Just because you don't need physical rest, doesn't mean you don't need mental rest. That's what will help Timmoz the most." He looked around the space. "This isn't living Xex. This is barely surviving."
Xex seemed to relax as Axod shared the joke with him, his smile lingering. It faded swiftly as the Doosodarian continued on the same vein, Xex's head dropping enough to hide his expression. He jerked a hand through his hair and snapped his head up, his gray eyes sparking with emotion. "Do you know who is 'barely surviving'?" he demanded, his words clipped. "Timmoz. Timmoz is barely surviving. The least I can do is give him my full energy and attention to try to remedy that situation. Lounging around my quarters is hardly helpful. Now, if you'll excuse me." Although phrased as a request, it was spoken as a dismissal. Xex stooped to gather his clothing, which he then shoved roughly into the recycler, his movements jerky.
Something compelled Ax to follow Xex. He was feeling a mixture of concern and hurt at the way Xex was behaving. "You can't just get rid of me like that Xex. You must know that by now." He reached out to grab the doctor's hand. "I just want to help. Tell me how I can help." Desperation seeped into Axod's voice. He cared about Xex, and he knew that Xex cared about him. which is why seeing him run himself ragged was so hard.
"I'm not--" Xex began as he made for the door to the sanitation cubicle, only to be stopped as Axod caught his hand. He paused, looking down at where their hands joined, as though unsure how to process the gesture, then moved his gaze back up to Axod's face. "Do you have a spare Orion lung hidden in your room?" he asked, the raw edge still clawing at his voice. "Or perhaps any fucking data at all about the Orion cardiopulmonary system? No? Then just let me work." With an abrupt jerk, he reclaimed his hand and turned back to the cubicle's door which obligingly swished open for him.
Axod's hand recoiled. He didn't know how to react to the changes he saw Xex. The man he shared many fond memories with, and many sordid ones as well. The Doosodarian's face twisted with a mixture of hurt and confusion. His eyes turned downward and he seemed to deflate a little. His head was reeling as he considered what he should do next. His instinct told him to turn around and go to his room, but something kept him planted.
Xex only managed one step forward though, before he stopped in the doorway, his shoulders hunching around a sigh. His hand came to his downturned face, pinching the bridge of his nose before running once again through his hair as he straightened and turned back to face Axod. "I'm sorry, truly. It's not you with whom I'm angry. It is that hellhole of a station that threw Timmoz in prison and then didn't see to his safety. It's that damnable Orion secrecy that means we don't have enough information to hardly begin... it's the fact that I haven't been able to fix it yet. It's not you. But do you see my predicament? Nevermind, you don't have to answer that," he said, continuing, "Accept my apology?" Xex's silvery features had creased with genuine contrition, his gray eyes pleading as he turned them on Axod.
Closing the gap between them, Ax hesitated a moment. He wasn't sure what would come, and the uncertainty gave him pause. Still, he pulled Xex into a steady embrace. "Of course I do, but you have nothing to apologize for. I can't understand what you're going through, but I'm willing to try if you'll stop shutting me out." The last part sounded less sensitive than what Axod was aiming for.
Xex returned the hug, if reluctantly, his body stiff. Though Axod couldn't see his expression, he could feel the jerk of a huffed sigh that rippled through the doctor. When he stepped out of the Doosodarian's arms, his expression was wry. "You're a good man, Ax. But you'll have to wait until Timmoz's continued survival is assured. Then, perhaps opening up will be an option. Still, I appreciate the support. Don't think for a moment that I don't." He reached out, squeezed Axod's forearm and with a small smile turned and disappeared into the sanitary cubicle. A moment later, the hum of the sonic shower was all that could be heard from within.
Ax's mind was still reeling. Doosodarian's didn't hold much back when they had a lot of emotions, and so to have someone he cared about be so much the opposite was confusing and frustrating to him. He turned and left the doorway, returning to his spot on the sofa of their shared living space. His mind was going at a mile a minute. He wanted, no needed, to help Xex however he was able. He couldn't stand by and do nothing.
Xex emerged stark naked a very short time later, looking if not exactly refreshed than at least less haggard. His expression was inward-facing as he finished rubbing some kind of cream into the skin at the back of his neck, mouthing something silently to himself as he stepped past the sofa and into his room. When he returned, he was clad in fresh trousers and an undershirt, and was shrugging into his uniform jacket. He paused then, finally focusing on Axod again. His voice was low, emotion lost in the deep timbre of it as he said, "Timmoz will live. I will make it so, even if that causes you distress. However sorry for that I am, it won't change what I am going to do."
He moved the few steps to the side of Axod's seat on the couch, resting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing firmly, then leaving his hand in place for a few heartbeats.
The silence that hung between them was not the comfortable lacunae Axod had once known. Now it was little more than unwanted mental space. More than once Axod opened his mouth to speak and the closed it again. He brushed his hand through his red hair. His eyes became fixed on the wall as he focused his thoughts. It was now that Ax finally realized that his feelings for Xex had become so deep that this behaviour was beginning to hurt him in ways he couldn't understand.
He shrugged Xex's hand off his shoulder and stood. "I...uhhh. You should get back to Sickbay. Timmoz needs you." He didn't allow his eyes to stray from the sport on the wall. "I think I'm...more tired than I realized. " The Doosodarian started towards his bedroom door. He paused for a moment at the threshold, his hand hovering over the controls.
Without a word, Xex dropped his hand as the other man stood, stepping back so Axod could make for his bedroom. "Rest well, Ax," he said with perfect sincerity, seeming to take the Doosodarian's words entirely at face value. He then turned and in a couple quick strides, had disappeared into the brightly-lit hallway beyond, leaving Axod alone with this thoughts, unwelcome though they may have been.
Ax allowed those words to hang between them for a moment without reaction. Finally, he pressed the control and slipped into his bedroom. He waited for the door to hiss closed behind him, and even a few moments more to account for Xex’s departure. The Doosodarian seated himself on the edge of is bed. He dropped his head out of sheer frustration and grabbed a pillow. Holding it to his face closely he let out a primal scream from deep within him. His thought were still on Xex, and would be for the remainder of this restless night.
A Joint Post by:
Lieutenant Xex Wang, MD
Chief Medical Officer
Lieutenant Axod Qo, MD
Ships Counselor
