Nightmares

Posted on Fri Oct 15th, 2021 @ 10:13pm by Lieutenant Irynya & Lieutenant Kennedy Ryan Walsh

Mission: The Place of Skulls
Location: Junior Crew Quarters - Deck 4
Timeline: Mission Day 18 at 0200

[Deck 4, Junior Crew Quarters]
[MD 18 0200 Hours]

The dream was familiar. Vidiians, features a garish blend of rotting mismatched flesh, were trying to get inside the worker bee. In this version of her nightmare, Irynya was alone in the small pod although in reality Chaali had been present in this particular moment in time. Her hands shook against the controls of the worker bee as alarms sounded throughout the pod making her aware of the intruding outsiders. She could hear them on the top of the pod, a thudding sound filling the space.

Just like every time before it her actions were predictable. Shaking hands took hold of the controls, trying to move the bee in a way that would dislodge the Vidiian interlopers. And just like every time before she let go of the grappling arm that she was supposed to be holding taut, the move throwing her teammates on the hull free of the ship.

In her dream the Vidiians transformed then, snatching crewmembers out of the vacuum of space like overgrown nightmares cutting off screams that echoed across the commlink as they tore pieces from people she had come to care so much about. New faces, people who hadn't even been there, featured in this dream.

The thudding always took on a deeper throb, then a dent forming above her on the bee. In her dream she always let go of the controls, a sob escaping her as a last pounding motion from outside the pod buckled the ceiling, opening her and the pod up to the space outside.

The last feeling she could remember was loss of breath.

-------

Irynya sat up in her bed with a gasp. She shook, tears streaming down her face. A hand went quickly to her mouth, stifling any sound so she wouldn’t rouse Sheldon, sleeping peacefully in the bed across from her.

Sheets, hand, tears, air, teeth she recited to herself taking a shaky breath in and forcing herself to let it out slowly. My breath, Sheldon’s breath, the hum of the deck plates, the air cycling. Another breath in. Another breath out.

Her heart was still racing, but the tears had stopped. Quickly she shuffled out of bed, dragging an extra blanket she kept at the foot of it with her and tiptoeing out into the common room.

“Computer, lights, 50 percent,” she whispered to the twilit space, breathing a sigh of relief as the lights came up from their night time levels.

She eyed the table and then the couch, deciding the couch would be better if she did fall back asleep. Carefully she situated herself, curling up with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders and draped over her knees.

-------

Kennedy was in and out of consciousness as he rolled onto his side looking over to Noah's bunk where he was still fast asleep. He hadn't been sleeping particularly well following the drone attacks. He took in a deep breath as he pulled off his covers deciding to order the sleepy time tea that Debbie had given him in lieu of ice cream. He rolled over the side of the bed planting his feet on the floor and rising up onto them.

He moved out to the common room, finding Irynya wrapped in a blanket on the couch sitting upright. His heart dropped a beat with worry, he dropped down to a knee beside her on the floor, lightly placing his hand on the blanket covered knee. Leaning up closely to hear she was still breathing. He wanted to kiss her on the cheek but he felt that might be inappropriate. It was only two days since his confession to her, a day since he saw her enter his Sickbay.

"Hi."

"Hi," she said back, a small tired smile on her face. Of course Kennedy was awake. Why wouldn't he be awake at 2 am while she was working her way out of a nightmare. "Can't sleep?" she asked quietly, adjusting her blanket so that it wasn't covering as much of the couch next to her. She was too tired to do more than drop the hint that he was welcome to join her.

Kennedy shook his head briefly, no, before rising to his feet and sitting closely to her on the couch. He laid his hands together on his lap. He made eye contact with her first, seeing that she had been crying. He frowned; he disliked seeing Irynya in this state very much as tears swept down his face, "Let's not talk about why I can't sleep. Are you okay? What's going on?" He reached his arm around the back of the couch, "Is that okay?"

She nodded, debating a moment before giving in to the instinct to let herself be comforted. "Yeah," she replied, but resituated herself so that she was leaning against his side before he could adjust. She let out a heavy sigh. It maybe wasn't the most fair thing for her to do in the moment, but she was desperate for anything to make the images behind her eyelids go away.

"Nightmares," she finally said in answer to his question. "Nothing much to do except get through them. It's been a few months since I've had them, though." She shrugged lightly. "You ok?"

Kennedy almost closed his eyes due to the comfort of Irynya snuggling up against him. His arm repositioned from the back of the couch around her back bringing her in a bit closer, "I'm sorry you're having bad dreams." He noted the deflection again when she inquired if he was okay. He nodded his head slowly, "I'm okay, I'm just very worried about you. My heart stopped a beat when I saw you come into Sickbay, I was relieved you were okay... but now..." Kennedy struggled to bring the words up as he had never been able to express himself in this regard before. "But let's table that for another time. Are you okay? What, kinda nightmares? I could run to Sickbay and get you something to sleep..." he found himself rambling, "Doctor t'Nai gave me something to sleep dreamlessly the next day after..." even though the horrors of being attacked by the Orion ambush party still frightened him, he needed to be strong, strong for Irynya.

"Kennedy," she said, interrupting his rambling. The fact that he was worried about her made a few butterflies kick up despite the anxiety of her dreams. She adjusted her shoulders to make it easier for him to sit with his arm around her. "Just sit with me, ok?" she inquired.

They were both quiet then for a long moment. She fiddled with the edge of the blanket, her fingers worrying at the sewn seam while she got her thoughts together.

"On the Adelphi," she said after a moment, voice quiet--echoing a feeling that she might shatter if she spoke more loudly, "the Vidiians attacked the ship's hull first." She let out a long breath pressing back against the panic the memory-turned-nightmare induced. "They had attached a grapple to the hull and we needed to remove it. I was responsible for piloting the worker bee with Chaali while Mulhern and Dravor did the work required on the hull. There were Vidiians in the grappling arm and once they left that space the went for us, trying to cut into the hull and, eventually, trying to attack the worker bee."

She let out another shaky breath before muttering under her breath, "couch, blanket, Kennedy's arm, breath..."

Breathing back under control she continued. "In reality we were fine. But in my dreams they always get in to the worker bee and I am either sucked out into space or they pull me out. Either way... I always wake up feeling like I can't breathe."

Kennedy listened to her tell him what had happened on the Adelphi and the nightmares she suffered through since then. "What are the frequency of these dreams?" With his free hand he moved to lightly caress her hand, hoping it would assist in grounding her.

"Constant after it happened," she remarked. "I don't think I slept straight through the night for weeks. The dreams would change. Sometimes the moment in the worker bee. Sometimes the moment when I piloted our shuttle into their ships. Sometimes an entirely foreign something that didn't happen." She let out another slow breath. His arm around her was making her feel warm and drowsy and she yawned despite herself. "I haven't had one since maybe a month or two before we left Risa, though," she added, talking through her yawn. His fingers stroking the back of her hand were a welcome distraction, soothing even as a few addition butterflies traitorously reared their heads.

He nodded his head understandingly as the occurrence of the nightmarish landscape still haunted his dreams. They happened every few days where they'd be different. He leaned his head against hers softly then lightly raised it back up worried that it might bring her any form of discomfort as she spoke, "Those drone things... must have reignited... err... triggered these dreams." He gave her a light squeeze as he was scared for her. He had read through the horrors that the Adelphi crew had lived through after he had asked Doctor t'Nai to provide him reports on it. He read through one of them and had enough but to live through it personally was entirely a different story.

Briefly she felt his head drop to hers, pressing against her hair before picking back up. She nodded her head against his shoulder. "Yeah," she said, "that's what I think. Last time I just needed to get through it. It takes time to believe that you're safe intellectually and even longer emotionally." She yawned again. "Is this ok?" she asked, voice sleepy. "I mean are you comfortable?"

The dream was beginning to fade now and her eyes were feeling heavy, the warmth of the blanket and Kennedy combining to work against her. She wasn't insensible of the emotions he had confessed to her two nights prior and she didn't want to take advantage of those, but sitting there in that moment felt so very safe.

"I am, are you?" He asked with complete sincerity in his voice. Kennedy nodded his head and gave her another light squeeze. He smiled as he heard her yawn and felt its vibrations, "It's okay if you fall asleep, okay? I won't leave you."

She shook her head lightly, hair mussing as she did. "Not yet," she remarked, meaning to indicate that she wasn't ready to sleep. "You haven't told me what has you up at this hour. Nightmares for you too?" She reached her hand across her body, snagging his forearm and squeezing lightly.

Kennedy nodded, "I keep reliving the same nightmarish hell on Cho'thil or I can't save anyone in my Sickbay following the drone attack. Tonight it was the Sickbay one. It always starts off at Bracco's office, sometimes we don't get to Sickbay, sometimes we don't even make it out of her office."

Irynya was quiet as he spoke, remembering clearly his face the day after his return from Cho'thil. The way his eyes didn't exactly focus on her even though he knew she was in front of him. She had known that look well. Had worn it herself.

She twisted slightly, turning so she could look up at him. "Aren't we a pair?" she asked, a dark helpless amusement in her voice. "At least, if our minds are going to keep us awake, we are in good company." She finished the motion she had started then, tucking her head into the space where his neck met his shoulders, one hand, settled on his stomach. "At least here, I feel safe."

Kennedy without much thought pressed his lips against her head to kiss her softly. He squeezed his arms around her, pulling her in closer if possible, "I always feel safe with you too."

Irynya felt Kennedy's lips press against her forehead sending a thrill through her chased quickly by another massive yawn. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, letting out a quiet sigh. "We really should go to bed," she said, yawn overtaking her once again.

“We should,” Kennedy nodded and with a note of concern in his voice, “I’m just worried that when we depart for our bunks we both will have bad dreams. Promise me if you wake up from a terrible dream you’ll wake me up?”

She nodded into his shoulder, but didn't move to get up right away. "Only if you do the same," she remarked sleepily.

Kennedy squeezed her once more than kissed her on the forehead. He released a long yawn, "But this is just too cozy."

She laughed quietly. " I know," she groaned. "But with Ellsworth off duty rotations I'll have doubles for a while. We were already down a pilot to begin with." Still, she didn't move.

Kennedy nodded with another yawn. He couldn't recall if Ellsworth made an appearance in his nightmare as it had faded away from memory, "I could always order you to bed, as your Doctor." Kennedy released a slight chuckle, "But I'm not going to."

Reluctantly, Irynya sat up, stretching lightly. The blanket fell from her shoulders as she did. The sudden temperature change raising goosebumps on her arms. She stood then, turning to look at Kennedy. A ridiculous desire to run her fingers through his bed-mussed hair ran through her making her heart kick up a beat.

"Thank you for being here," she said, instead.

"Anytime, I'm always here for you," Kennedy rose up from the couch and took a step towards his own room before looking over at her, "We'll get through this together." He offered her a soft smile wanting to hold her one more time but also wanting to make sure she returned to the comfort of her bunk.

She hesitated, still standing next the couch. Carefully she snagged the blanket and folded it over her arms. Indecision warred with exhaustion on her features resolving, after a moment, into something resembling acceptance. She closed the gap between them quickly, going up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Sweet dreams, Kennedy," she said before worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. One last glance and she turned, hurrying into her room before her resolve failed her.

Kennedy closed his eyes as Irynya's lips pressed against his cheek to kiss him good night. His cheeks turned into a light pink as she left him to the common area alone he released a short sigh finding himself able to say a difficult word he hadn't been able to express since his childhood, "I love you."

=/\= A Mission Post By =/\=

Lieutenant JG Kennedy Ryan Walsh
Acting Chief Medical Officer

Lieutenant JG Irynya
Acting Chief Flight Controller