Unplanned Confessions

Posted on Thu Sep 2nd, 2021 @ 5:30pm by Lieutenant Irynya & Lieutenant Kennedy Ryan Walsh

Mission: The Place of Skulls
Location: Deck 4, Junior Crew Quarters
Timeline: Mission Day 15 at 2200

[Debbie's Diner]
[Immediately following Out and About with the Nurses]

Kennedy watched his Nurses departure and asked out loud rhetorically, “What project?” Could it not wait till the morning? It wasn’t obvious to him that they wanted to give Irynya and him time alone. He hadn’t finished his first drink and the second one Miriam had ordered for him remained untouched. He finished the tortilla and grabbed some more for his plate. He ate some more.

Irynya knew exactly what was going on as soon as Lal stood. She had pulled the same move herself on numerous occasions reaching for or even fabricating an excuse to leave two people alone who she thought might just need the removal of her own presence to get past themselves. On one hand, she appreciated that Lal thought she was helping. On the other, she found that she had gone from perfectly comfortable, albeit highly charged, laughing and banter to alone with a man whose very presence caused her to react in ways that gave her pause.

She hadn’t figured out what to do about him yet. Hadn’t figured out if there even was a thing she should or shouldn’t do. And so, as he watched the two officers leave, she dropped her eyes to her hands, suddenly more shy than she had perhaps ever been in her whole life.

“Why did they invite me out for drinks if they had a project to work on?” Kennedy took one last sip of the Singapore Sling as little of the drink mixed in with the ice cubes. Kennedy eyed the mountains of food and looked over to Irynya, “I don’t think Debbie will be pleased as there’s still quite a lot left but I’m not feeling particularly hungry. Want to head back to our quarters before she notices?” Kennedy looked around for her.

Irynya ducked her head, then straightened her shoulders and turned, resituating herself so that she was half facing Kennedy. The move created space where there hadn’t been any a moment before, but she was beginning to feel like she was going to need space to think straight.

She looked at the food. He was right there was still plenty left, but the four of them had already managed to put a dent in both plates even if it was only that. She snagged a chip and popped into her mouth, chewing to buy herself time. She may have known what was going on, but it was clear that Kennedy didn’t.

She watched as he looked around for the matron of the establishment, unable to keep herself from noticing… him.

“Sure,” she finally replied when he looked back over at her.

Kennedy looked perplexed about the mysterious puzzle on why the nurses left but also focused on making the beeline out of the diner before Debbie noticed. He slid out of the booth and stood aside to allow Irynya out of the booth. He felt wobbly after one drink. He was glad that he hadn’t touched the second.

Sliding out of the booth behind him, she followed him out the door. The sling was making her pleasantly warm and, as she followed him out, she let herself look him over, a warm sort of wiggly feeling turning her cheeks red. She hoped he didn’t ask her about that. She was many things, but someone who blushed at an attractive figure was not one of them.

When they had rounded the corner from Debbie’s he slowed, giving her a chance to draw up beside him. She fell into step next to him, sneaking glimpses out of the corner of her eye as they walked. Quietly she noted that the alcohol from the sling was affecting him more than it did her--a detail she stored away in the file of ‘things I know about Kennedy Ryan Walsh’ that she had begun to build in her head.

Kennedy took a deep breath as he felt he was able to breathe again. He saw some colour in her cheeks, he simply smiled at her without a word. He looked down the corridor as they walked down together. He looked down and watched her feet move. He then looked back to his own. Then gradually looked down the corridor. Before looking back at her face.

It was like a game. First, she would look at him out of the corner of her eyes. A moment would pass and then his eyes would dart to her making her dart forward to study the corridor in front of them.

They rounded the bend to the turbolift, the doors parting to let them through. Curious, her eyes returned to his face just in time for his to be deliberately focused elsewhere.

The both stood in the turbolift a moment before she finally spoke up. "Deck 4," she informed the air, focusing her gaze on the door in front of her as his eyes returned to her.

Turbolift rides on a Rhode Island class vessel could hardly be considered long. And so it was only a short window until the lift dumped them out on their own deck. She went ahead of him this time, pausing only to let him fall in next to her before moving down the hall. Her hand brushed his as they walked before she pulled it back across her chest to grip her opposite arm.

They reached the door to the junior crew quarters they shared with Noah and Sheldon far too soon.

This was the part Irynya knew well, except in any other circumstance Kennedy would be dropping her off, not following her inside. Well… not if she wasn't inviting him to anyway.

This was the longest neither of them had spoken a word to each other in presence of one another, Kennedy thought. He took in a deep breath before taking a step for the door to slide open. He extended an arm for her to move through first. He was conflicted as he had the sudden urge to come clean with everything from the physical and now, everything in between, but the alcohol pushed him forward, “Irynya…”

Their quarters were quiet when they entered and she wondered, briefly, if they were somehow alone. His voice saying her name, full of question and intent, stopped her wondering short. She turned, standing in the middle of the room to look at him, not trusting herself to respond at that moment, but undeniably listening.

“I am not someone who makes friends quickly or been able to express my feelings for anyone else. I…” Kennedy trailed off as he looked back and forth from her to his feet, “… I don’t know how to describe it… but…” he was second guessing himself before gently smacking himself on forehead trying to find the words he needed to say, “Let’s just say that wasn’t encouraged when I was growing up in Drogheda… but I just wanted to say, that I really, really, really like you.” As he slowly spoke he looked up from his hands and pointed towards her. He was always taught that pointing was rude so he quickly set his hands to his sides.

Kennedy couldn’t believe he said it. He had to. He felt very vulnerable now that he expressed his feelings. He felt like something had lifted off his shoulders but somehow he felt like he was being seen in a different light. He was now worried that she would be dismissive about it because he had more than enough alcohol but that wasn’t the case. He felt like an eternity had passed without her quickly saying a word.

Iry stood still for a long second parsing his words; heart kicking up a beat at the same time as her stomach sank. She was wholly and completely unprepared for this conversation. Finally, she moved, walking over to the shared couch. Quickly she slipped off her shoes and pulled her legs up into a lotus--open enough to show she wasn't running away, but creating enough distance to think.

"Umm…" she said, when he didn't immediately follow suit. "Sit down?"

Kennedy watched her move over to the couch. She slipped off her shoes and sat down on the couch. She folded her legs like she had done before. He looked down at his feet uncertain if she wanted to have him join her. He didn’t know what to do at this point.

He heard her say sit down. He looked up and walked over to the couch. He didn’t know if she wanted him to sit next her, so he sat on the opposite side of the couch with his feet on the floor. He looked down his uniform as he saw the salsa dab of Irynya helped clean up.

He sat further away than she intended and so she scooted down the couch until she was sitting next to him, facing him.

"Kennedy," she said, knowing that her silence was the exact worst response she could give. "Look at me."

Kennedy felt the vibrations of her scooting down the couch towards him. At first he didn’t hear her call for him by his name as his anxiety began to heighten. He heard her Look at me.

Kennedy nodded his head raising his head to face her. He readjusted himself to be a bit more comfortable on the couch. He looked into her hazel eyes where the swirls of brown and blue were seen.

She held his gaze for a long moment, her stomach doing flips as she did. They had known each days… barely more than two weeks. Did things like this… things that made your stomach twist itself in knots and your skin blaze anywhere you brushed each other … did those things actually only happen in two weeks?

"I…” she began, forcing herself to not to look down as she spoke and succeedingly only barely. One of her hands went to her hair, fingers coming around to slide up underneath her ponytail absently as if the feeling would ground her. “You barely know me. And I barely know you. A few days ago you were asking me about my favorite animal. I…” Now she did look down, afraid to mess this all up. “I don’t know what really, really, really like means to you.” She quoted him exactly as she spoke, a knot forming in her throat.

“I…” Kennedy trailed off as he collected his thoughts more, “I know that we’ve only known each other for fifteen days. All these feelings are very new for me as I find it very hard to be a sociable person. In that time you’ve shown me what a true friend is, something I’ve only read in the stories.”

Kennedy was talking with his hands which he normally never did, “I’ve developed an emotional connection with you that I’ve never experienced with anyone before. I,” Kennedy lowered his head, “I find myself missing you often. Sometimes you are in the other room or on your duty shift.

“When I see you, it brightens my day. Truthfully if it wasn’t for you being there for me after what happened on Cho’thil… it still haunts me… but if it wasn’t for you that morning I probably would have put in a transfer request or even resignation and did what my parents want and studied medicine on Earth and joined the faculty at Our Lady of Lourdes. But that’s not something I want now, Irynya. You ground me in ways I didn’t even think was possible.”

A few tears had welled up in both eyes as he continued to speak. His voice trembling in his speech, “I went outside of the protocol that Dr t’Nai set in place for the round of physicals that Commander... that Commander Takomi ordered for all crew. I even tried to have your examination reassigned. I’ve felt guilty ever since, but I was thorough because I don’t know... I just wanted to make sure that you were healthy because I don’t know what I would do if something were to happen to you.”

He rose to his feet as his voice was starting to get sore from speaking. He moved to the replicator and ordered them both glasses of water to help wash down the Singapore Slings.

He froze between the replicator and Irynya as he looked down at her with his hands full. He looked down, “I felt guilty that as your attending physician and I spoke with Dr. t’Nai. I asked her if you knew. I don’t remember what she said. But I asked if I should tell you about how guilty I felt. She said no, looks like I’m not following her advice here.”

Kennedy took a step towards her handing her one of the glasses, “Then I told her that you are the closest thing to a friend I’ve ever had. And I confided in her. I told her that I liked you, she told me to get to know you better. I want to get to know you better, I really do. So in my own way, that’s why I invited you to Debbies where I asked you questions. I felt childish but I really wanted to get to know you.”

The tears that were welling up in his eyes sprinkled down his cheeks. His voice started to get raspy.

“Kennedy,” she said, her glass of water set unceremoniously on the floor. “Stop talking.”

She stood slowly, coming over to where he was standing and taking the other glass of water out of his hand. She turned, setting it on the nearest flat surface before turning back to him. Gently she reached a hand up, brushing her thumb across his cheeks. Her stomach had twisted into knots as he spoke, working and unworking itself as she recognized the pattern of things she, herself, had been less willing to admit to.

“I…” she began, her hands falling back to her side. She tipped her head back looking at the ceiling and let out a low, almost desperate, laugh. “I’m going to kiss you now… ok?”

Kennedy blinked at her response. It wasn’t something that he would expect after his tell all confession. He nodded very carefully; understanding. He had been kissed once before but that was unexpected. He knew this one was coming.

She didn’t wait for him to have a chance to change his mind, closing the gap between the two of them quickly and pressing her lips to his gently, giving him only a moment to react.

Kennedy closed his eyes as her lips homed in against his but the sensation of her lips pressed against his forced his eyes to reopen, widening. He didn’t know what his arms were doing but they wrapped around her waist bringing her in as he pressed his lips against hers.

She pulled back nearly as quickly as she started, tilting her head so that her forehead was pressed against his.

“This,” she said quietly, “does not make sense.”

Kennedy rested his forehead against hers but he knew what she was saying, “I wasn’t expecting that as a response.”

She chuckled quietly, the sound not entirely light. “What response did you expect?”

“I was worried you would think less of me. I was worried that you wouldn't find me suitable in that regard. I thought you would have been angry with me,” Kennedy listed a few reasons, “do you think of me the same way I think of you?” He knew by the kiss she felt something but the words solidified it.

“Are you asking me if I really, really, really like you?” she asked, pulling back to look at him with a smirk. Her face turned serious then. “I don’t know what this feeling is?” she said, the statement coming out as a question. “It’s um… new to me too.”

Kennedy was unfamiliar with Risian romantic customs. He should have researched this through but he wasn’t expecting what happened in the common area of their shared quarters or he would have done his homework. He nodded his head thoughtfully, “It’s… new… to… me… too…”

Gently she extricated herself from him, returning to the couch before nodding to the spot next to her indicating he should sit.

“So where does this leave us?” she asked once he had resumed his seat. She didn’t give him a chance to answer. “Were you anyone else I would know exactly what to do right now, but… you’re not, so…” She trailed off, a blush running up her cheeks.

Kennedy reached his hand over to softly touch her face where the blush started to form. He caressed it lightly, nodding his head while his hand slid down on the couch beside them. “This is all brand new territory for me, I’m not sure where this leaves us but I know I don’t want to be without you.”

She sighed, “There’s a lot of different ways to not be without a person,” she said quietly. “Most of them don’t involve being kissed. Maybe…” she said, drawing the word out… “we start with your list of questions?”

Kennedy nodded in agreement with Irynya, “We could do that but I also want you to ask me questions as well. I have no problem answering my own questions as that’s only fair.”

Her eyebrows shot up a tic, amusement warring with curiosity despite the charge of the moment, “Some of those questions strike me as the type you would, in fact, have a problem answering.” She had, after all, skimmed the list a few days earlier. She knew just how personal some of those questions got.

“It may be hard for me to answer but I will answer them truthfully, albeit maybe slowly.”

“Did you really just use the word albeit when discussing the fact that you have written questions inquiring about my sex life?” she giggled, the emotional heaviness of the moment scattering as she did. She sighed then, shaking her head at him. “Well… where do we start?”

=/\= A mission post by... =/\=

Lieutenant JG Kennedy Ryan Walsh

Lieutenant JG Irynya