Not Standing Alone

Posted on Sat Jul 26th, 2025 @ 6:18pm by Captain Björn Kodak & Lieutenant Commander Emni t'Nai & Lieutenant Axod Qo

Mission: Seven Souls
Location: Ready Room
Timeline: Mission Day 1 at 1943

[Captain’s Ready Room]
[MD 1: 1943 Hours]
[USS Sojourner]

The door hissed closed behind them, sealing the hush of the ready room like the pressurization of a spacewalk. Stillness clung to the air, broken only by the muted hum of the ship’s systems, a white noise foundation that felt, to Kodak, like a failing heartbeat. He stood with his back to the other two, fingers splayed across the edge of the smooth conference table, grounding himself in its familiar lacquered surface. The slight tremble in his hands had mostly subsided, but the echo of what had happened, what he had done, still vibrated in the hollow of his chest.

"Thank you both for coming," he said quietly. He didn’t turn around yet. "I..." He stopped. Tried again. "I thought I had it under control." Only then did he turn, golden eyes ringed with fatigue and something else, something raw and pulled taut. "I didn’t lose it on the bridge. Not in the middle of the attack. Not even when we realized what Subrek had done. But that conference room..." Kodak gave a short, bitter laugh. "That definitely wasn’t command presence. That was an anxiety attack pinned by a combadge."

He moved to sit, slowly, on the edge of the low couch, elbows on knees, shoulders hunched inward. A captain in silhouette. He invited the others to sit as well, the limning of bonsai trees around the room offering a pocket of peace and beauty. "I need to understand what that did. To the room. To the crew. And to the people I’m supposed to be leading..."

He finally looked up, first to Emni, then to Qo. "Talk to me. Please."

Rather than sit, Emni took a liberty on entering the room -- one she hoped the Captain wouldn't mind -- and moved to the replicator. A few quiet words later and three cups of tea on a serving tray were in her hands. She'd been mulling what she wanted to say... to ask... since they had adjourned from the conference room, but even as she set the tray between them, handing each man a cup, she still felt unsure of how her thoughts would land. "It's chamomile," she said, at a questioning look, before diving in to the captain's questions. "Of the group of us," she commented, "Mr. Parsons suffered the worst shock. He joined the meeting on uncertain footing. With Mr. Oliveria leaving only 3 weeks ago, and Lieutenant F'rar now in Sickbay..." She trailed off, sipping the tea and then glancing between the other two men.

"My sense with Lieutenant Good was that she is fully immersed in disaster recovery mode. Tactically, your reaction created uncertainty and cracked some of her trust, but I get the impression she will do her job to the best of her ability. Unfortunately I do not know her as well as I do Mr. Parsons, so her emotional reaction was more opaque to me. Not to mention that... overall... it was difficult to..." she wanted to say hear... or see even... but neither was an accurate depiction of the way her empathic sense worked, "... separate, everyone's reactions from each other. I do believe Lieutenant Good will keep any concerns she has close to her chest. She seems more than competent for her position and that will mean keeping morale high in our security personnel. Parsons on the other hand..."

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other and balancing the teacup lightly on her knee. "Two of his closest friends are amongst the seven taken," she reminded them all even though she suspected no reminder was needed. "We can't rule out that he'll want to speak to someone he is close with when he has time and mental space to unwind our meeting." There she looked to Qo for support. "Would you agree Counselor?"

Until he was addressed, Axod's eyes had remained fixed on a narrow seam between the deck plating, as though searching for answers hidden in the quiet geometry of the floor. The tension in the room lingered like a faint charge in the air. At the sound of Emni’s question, he blinked, the trance breaking, and slowly lifted his gaze to meet the Commander’s.

“I would definitely agree, Commander,” he said, his voice laced with the soft, melodic cadence typical of his people. It was gentle and unhurried, yet with a depth that gave weight to even the simplest reply. He paused for a breath, the silence thoughtful rather than evasive. “It’s hard to know how others might react when they find themselves in situations like that.” The last word carrying a subtle emphasis, a polite euphemism for the meeting that had just taken place. His tone was diplomatic, but not disingenuous.

Axod gave a slow, considered nod, directing it toward the Executive Officer as though offering his agreement directly to her, and perhaps only her. The motion was deliberate, reflective. All the while, his eyes carefully avoided the Captain—whether out of professional courtesy, discomfort, or something more layered, it wasn’t immediately clear.

Kodak took the cup with both hands, letting the warmth settle into his palms. A nod of thanks was sent t'Nai's way as she settled herself, a sip of his tea following the appreciative glance he'd offered her. The weight of the cup--not to mention the soothing heat from the liquid itself--worked quickly to quiet some nerves as Emni and then Qo spoke. He watched and listened in silence—eyes low at first, then rising slowly, following the threads of their words as if trying to find himself within them. And when Axod finished, that silence lingered even still. Not a pregnant pause, nor theatrical: just a long, quiet exhale stretched thin across the shape of the moment.

“I appreciate both of you. More than I can say,” Kodak said finally, his voice quieter than before, stripped of any sort of command-level officer performance. It was, instead, humble with a tinge of gratefulness. “Grace isn’t always easy to give. Especially when the person asking for it is supposed to be the person holding everyone else together. Thank you," he offered earnestly, a glint in his golden eyes underscoring his sincerity.

He looked between them then. “If Parsons needs time and reassurance, he’ll have it,” he said, looking between them. “If Good has concerns, I trust she’ll do her job regardless — but I’ll need to earn that trust back.” How Kodak planned to do that exactly went--for now--unsaid. What I need,” Kodak said, pressing his hands flat against his knees now, “is to start putting things back together. And I think that starts with the people in this room.”

The Captain looked directly at Emni. "If I ever needed validation that you were the right choice for XO, that was it," he stressed gently. They'd worked together awhile now in their respective roles and each had proven themselves time again. But this situation was different from anything they'd experienced before. While Kodak knew that the woman would be able to feel the swell of appreciation and pride directed her way, he felt it was important to name it audibly too. "I am deeply appreciative of what you did back there. And what you're doing now, even still," he gestured to the tea.

"Thank you sir," she murmured, lips pressing together in an expression that wasn't a smile so much as an attempt at humble gratitude.

With Axod, though, the relationship was new: untested heretofore, but perhaps starting out on the shakiest of ground getting out of the gate. Kodak needed to back things up--re-establish a good working rapport after his outburst, even if had been an understandable one. So he cleared his throat slightly and turned the younger man's way. “You didn’t look at me," he began, offering eye contact with Axod over the lip of his tea cup as he sipped again. "And you don’t have to, Counselor, if that’s where you are right now. But if there's air to clear now, here, together...I'd like to do that," Kodak admitted. A quick look to Emni included her in the invitation as well.

The reticence in Qo's body language was echoed in his emotional fingerprint and unmissable to Emni, though she withheld any prompting giving the counselor space to decide how he wanted to cope with the complexities of his emotional reactions in this moment. She nodded her appreciation, and acknowledgement, to Kodak as well, hoping to communicate without words the deeply felt warmth she felt at his compliment. She, too, still held reservations. She had not taken the step to place him on any restriction, but that had been a judgment in the moment--separating the intensity and near violence of the kind of emotional break she'd experienced with Karim from the deep well of helplessness and grief that stood behind Kodak's outburst like a flash flood--rising quickly and falling just as fast. Still, she remained quiet -- offering space for Qo to respond first if he had anything he wanted to say.

Axod tensed, a ripple of discomfort passing through his posture. “It’s difficult, Captain,” he admitted, his voice lower than usual, a weight behind each syllable. The Doosodarian man furrowed his brow, and for a moment he looked down, gathering his thoughts. “I can understand and even appreciate the depth of emotion you must be feeling,” he continued, carefully, deliberately. “But…” He paused, or rather cut himself off. He inhaled slowly, centering himself in the breath, then raised his eyes to meet the Captain’s at last. Those dark blue eyes, often gentle and contemplative, now held a sharp clarity.

“Displays of extreme emotion are not a privilege of command,” Axod said, his tone calm but unwavering. “They’re a burden, and one that can destabilize those who look to you for certainty. And right now, Captain, we cannot afford instability.”

He realized his hands had balled into fists on his lap. With conscious effort, he loosened them, placing them flat against his thighs. His next words carried something more personal, more intimate, an edge of vulnerability that rarely made it into his sessions. “We don’t know each other well,” he said, “not yet. But I need your assurance that we’re proceeding with unclouded judgment.” He didn’t explain the phrase, though the reverence with which he said it spoke volumes. In Doosodarian culture, unclouded judgment wasn’t just a mental state; it was a moral imperative, a sacred obligation in moments of leadership and decision. “If you can give me that,” he said, his voice softening without losing any of its resolve, “then you will have my full support every step of the way.”

He hesitated, the silence stretching just long enough to feel deliberate.“But if you can’t…” His head shook slightly. Not with disappointment, but as a quiet, solemn warning.

As the Counselor spoke, Kodak’s eyes had lingered on Axod, his attention drawn to the man’s hands. While they were now flat on his thighs, they had--just moments ago--been curled into fists. Not in defiance or anger, necessarily, but in tension at the very least. Suppressed frustration, perhaps?

He noticed, too, the Counselor’s cool remove: the way Axod’s gaze had hesitated to meet his, the way his voice carried reason without warmth. The restraint might have been professional, even culturally shaped, but in this moment—when the Captain had laid his grief bare—it felt like a wall; like a barrier had been placed instead of a bridge being built.

And for a man struggling to find his footing, that distance echoed louder than any words. Kodak thought carefully for a few long moments before replying.

“Stability matters. You’re absolutely right about that, Counselor.” Kodak nodded, his voice staying even as his eyes held Axod’s now, unflinching. “But it doesn’t just come from the captain. It has to come from the people around him too.” He drew a breath, slow and controlled. "As you've offered me feedback, I feel it fair to offer you some as well."

“Back there," the Chameloid began to explain, his golden eyes holding a vulnerable glint, "I felt the judgment in the air between us. Saw the way you couldn’t look at me, the way you didn’t offer a word of personal support or even a thread of empathy. And I get it,” he added quickly, not angrily, “you don’t know me yet. And maybe you were processing, or shaken yourself. But in that moment," Kodak's voice broke, still a little raw with emotion, "what I needed from my counselor was ballast. And what I got was… silence.”

He let the words hang for a moment: heavy, but not weaponized. “It’s hard to be the foundation for this crew when the people I should be able to lean on won't even make eye contact..."

A flicker of something unreadable swept across Axod’s face. An emotion even he couldn’t quite name. Was it guilt? Realization? Whatever it was, it passed quickly, leaving behind a thoughtful stillness. The Doosodarian man didn’t answer at once. He took a breath, weighing his response with deliberate care.

“I can... appreciate what it is you’re saying, Captain,” he said finally, his voice measured. The red-haired man shifted in his seat, posture softening. “And I agree.” The tension that had subtly coiled in his shoulders eased. Whatever confrontation he’d been bracing for had not come to pass, and the relief was almost visible in the way his body settled.

From her spot as the third point of their triangle, Emni felt her own tension release as the relief the Counselor felt flowed from him in waves that she could not miss. She let out a soft breath herself and turned her eyes back to the Captain. "Sir, your... honesty... will go a long way not just in this room, but beyond it. The crew needs stability and certainty and leadership, yes. But they also need honesty and reality. They're scared too. We're down three department heads from that kidnapping and a fourth to injuries. The last time we needed to pull on this many folks who were not primary to their roles..." she trailed off. He knew when. They'd both been there and it had been horrific. But equally so the so called, second stringers, had risen to the occasion and they'd made it out.

She glanced at Qo. "We had to rely on our lowest ranks when the Vidiian's attacked the Adelphi," she explained softly. "This isn't the same thing, but it has... echoes of it. When we get through this you may find yourself busier than ever."

Another sigh and her eyes returned the golden yellow of Kodak's. "Perhaps that's the route forward with Mr. Parsons. He was among the crew that stepped up during that attack, wasn't he?"

After a nod to t'Nai, Kodak took a long, steadying breath. The ready room had shifted, the tension no longer a live current but something quieter now, like the echo after a storm. He looked between them: Emni with her steady presence and quiet intuition, Axod with his guarded insight. What had been heavy felt more balanced now, not resolved entirely, but aired out enough to breathe through. He nodded again, slowly, and then spoke.

“We’ve been through moments like this before. They scar us, but they also show us who we are. And who we lean on when things break down. People like Parsons, like Good, like every crew member wondering what comes next," Kodak rasped. "They’ll rise to the occasion if we give them the space and the support to do it. I’ll talk to them. All of them," he referred not just to the engineer and the security officer, but the entire crew. He paused then, the weight of it all not gone but more evenly carried now.

His gaze returned to t'Nai and Axod both, steady now, softer around the edges. “It helps that I’m not standing alone in this," the glint in Kodak's golden eyes was grateful. "That both of you are here, showing up, helping to steady the ground beneath me... I won’t forget that. And I’ll do the work to make sure neither of you regret it," the Captain affirmed, setting aside his tea cup with a clinking sound as it was returned to its saucer.

Kodak rose to his feet, not out of habit or protocol but because it felt like the right place to end things. The tea had gone cold, but something else had warmed: subtler, more human. He reached for it as he offered a quiet thank you, then turned toward the door, the next steps already forming in his mind. There were people to reach. And seven souls to bring home...

"Let's get on with getting our people back, shall we?" he turned back, challenge in his tone. Challenge...and steel. Kodak, it seemed, had found his confidence again. "I don't know about you, but I'm quite tired of the First Maje and his bullshit." It was an honest confession to people he could be honest with. Striding through the door, two words filtered back into the ready room:

"Status Report."


=/\= A joint post by... =/\=

Captain Björn Kodak
Commanding Officer

Lieutenant Commander Emni t'Nai
Executive Officer

Lieutenant Axod Qo
Ship's Counselor